The Ol' Comparison Game


Do you ever look at your life and feel like you should be further ahead or wonder if you should have accomplished more? Maybe you think you should feel happier or look skinnier by now? Think about your news feeds this week and be aware of how you felt while scrolling through. 


People LOVE to judge themselves against other people, either consciously or subconsciously, and base their self worth on how they compare to others.

I meet with people regularly who tell me they compare themselves to others through endless scrolling of social media, and then consequently feel depressed, anxious and insecure.


They tell me they feel like they don’t have it all together or they should be further along in their life. They say they're going through life feeling uneasy and afraid to be themselves.


The biggest issue with this behavior is that you are comparing someone's strengths to your perceived weaknesses.


You're comparing what you KNOW TO BE TRUE ABOUT YOURSELF, your reality, your inner shit show, to their highlights, their best pose of 25 takes etc.


This isn't a fair comparison! It's your insides to their outsides. People showcase their best traits and accomplishments on social media, not always their true selves.


This is my reminder to you-->Everyone you compare yourself to online also has insecurities, regrets and skeletons in their closets. This reality is just lost in their beautiful photos, accomplishments or recent purchases.


Here is how to make sense of what you are feeling: When you compare yourself, you are likely being triggered by something you may be self-conscious or insecure about. Knowing what this insecurity is can help guide your life in the right direction. Learn to identify what you care deeply about and what goal is worthwhile pursuing. Decide to accept yourself for you are. 


Force yourself to take the focus off the other people and turn it back to you. Think about what you can do to address these insecurities by doing some healthy self evaluation.


Measuring yourself against others isn’t a positive way to take care of yourself. It can make you resentful towards people you don't even know.


Most of us can relate to following someone online, meeting them in person, and realizing you made a wrong judgement about the individual. If you find you still feel upset by other people’s feeds, unfollow them.


Don’t keep doing the same thing that upsets you day after day. It's within your power to feel better. What you consume on social media can have a bigger impact on how you feel than you realize. Refocus on what really matters to you.


To summarize: Be aware of when you are playing the comparison game, understand why, focus on your strengths and realize what you have to be grateful for. ~Laura

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© 2020 Laura Gatien, M.S.W.