The last year has been particularly hard on many intimate relationships. When everything feels out of control, our relationships are no exception.
Relationship researchers John & Julie Gottman say that what breaks down relationships is lack of curiosity, friendship, and passion.
When people get busy with their life and the years just seem to pass, they forget that their partner changes. They develop new interests and hobbies and let go of things they used to like - you should know what these are.
Here are a few pointers…
Ask your partner questions. Be curious to learn more about your partner..it feels good. Everyone wants to know that their partner finds them interesting and appreciated
Act interested in their life. Lean in, show enthusiasm *put phone down*
Keep on top of who they are now. What are their hopes and dreams for their future? It’s easy to make assumptions that are often inaccurate as things change
In these times especially, many people don’t know who they are let alone who their partner is. We all need to take a moment and slow down to listen to our bodies and figure out our own needs so we can share them with our partners
You have probably heard before that relationships don’t usually break down overnight. It’s more commonly a case of “death by 1,000 tiny cuts”- a daily lack of interest in one another, little passion or friendship. By remaining curious about your partner, you are making an investment in the emotional bank account of the relationship and taking important steps to keeping the passion & friendship alive.
Reach out if you and your partner need help working through the issues this difficult phase of life have surfaced.
PS: We serve all types of relationships. One of our therapists, Steven, even specializes in working with queer relationships.