Sometimes it feels like our culture sends the message that if we are not happy, we are broken, that something must be very wrong. That everyone else must be doing better than we are. And sometimes, that is not just a feeling, it is a reality.
Some people ARE doing better than we are, especially on the days where people are mad at us, the kids are fighting, house is a disaster, a relative is sick and you are fighting with your partner.
However, those people have days like this too. I am talking about the days when we WANT to feel gratitude, but we do not. When our feelings feel scary, when negative thoughts are constant, and you feel powerless over them.
This is when I step in and talk to myself like I would a friend and I remind myself that it is totally normal to feel that way. It is easy to fall into comparison mode, so I remind myself what I see on social media is not reality and many are in the same boat as I am.
All humans struggle behind the scenes at times, with many emotions from guilt to anxiety to anger. The human experience is chalk full of emotions and the problem with our culture is we feel we are doing it wrong if we experience these things.
Here is what you can try when you find yourself in this same state:
Accept your experience in the moment (good bad or otherwise) and your feelings around it. Write them down or speak to them out loud to someone.
Stop shaming yourself for feeling this way. If you were shamed in the past for having and expressing such feelings, likely the person who did this to you could not cope with their own strong feelings.
Stop blaming yourself for the things causing your stress-many of your circumstances are outside of your control and they are not always explainable.
Redefine success for yourself, you do not need anyone else’s approval. Think about what YOU value and act on that.
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