“Grief is like living two lives, one is where you pretend that everything is alright and the other is where your heart silently screams in pain”
Someone once told me grief is like a fingerprint, it's different for everyone. There are no rules, how ever you may be moving through grief is “normal”.
If you're experiencing feelings of loss, disconnection or disappointment please don’t compare your grief, all grief is a loss and is valid. Certain losses are not better or worse than others.
I’ve noticed some interesting patterns in my work on how people grieve. Too many people feel that they shouldn't be grieving if they don’t have a “good enough” reason (such as the death of a person close to them). But, we can also grieve things other than people.
We feel feelings of grief and loss for many different things during our lifetime. From becoming an empty nester, to losing a job, to losing our independence as we age, to tragic loss of loved ones. Many changes and losses can lead to grief. It means a new normal, it means a different version of ourselves and life. Any loss you grieve is valid.
There's no timeline or consistent process or outline for how to process grief, it doesn’t always happen like the theories you may have read about. You may skip some stages and go back and forth and all around; waves of grief coming and going all throughout your life as you move through different stages.
People will tell you things about grief that are not true like “time heals all” or you will feel better after a certain time frame, these are well meaning but not always true.
Grief comes and goes; you will have good and bad months or years and this doesn't mean you are stuck or broken. It means you're human and coping. Be kind to yourself, it won't always make sense. Find small ways to take care of yourself daily. ~ Laura