Boundaries: You teach people how to treat you


Let's talk about boundaries! I have some ideas and encouragement for you to set healthy ones.


Setting boundaries seems so hard at first but I'm finding it's something that gets easier with practice. I have learned that a lack of boundaries often brings misery to peoples lives.



First, it is important to understand what boundaries are.


Boundaries are limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships to protect ourselves.



- MY TOP FOUR -

  • Set your boundaries based on what is important to you and your personal values. If you dont know what your values are, this is a good place to start exploring.

  • Understand the reason you have created these boundaries. This will help when you may be giving a little bit more than you should.

  • Have self-respect. Respect that you have created these boundaries for yourself. It can be hard to enforce boundaries when you feel someone may be mad, or that you are letting them down. At the end of the day you must honor your own needs. I often tell my clients that we teach people how to treat us so be intentional about what you allow.

  • Be respectful. Yes, sometimes people will be upset that you have set boundaries. But remember you are setting boundaries for your own well-being, not to control someone else. There may be times where a compromise or politely telling the person you are not able to commit to the task they are requesting is enough.


Boundaries take practice. Start small and remember your reason for starting. Be true to yourself and your needs.


Always remember, anyone who is upset with the boundaries you set are probably the ones who benefited from you having none in the past. If you need help setting boundaries we can help.



~ Laura


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© 2020 Laura Gatien, M.S.W.