Are you holding back? Is there something you have been wanting to disclose to your therapist but are too afraid to share the whole truth? I am noticing clients sometimes wait for months or years even to tell me important details of their life or their past.
Many people do not fully open up to their therapist, especially not right away and sometimes never fully.
I know how easy it is to hold back, to give the answers you think the person wants to hear or omit painful details of your past. To not go as deep into an issue as you could, rationalize things or negate them with statements like “Its ok, or it’s not a big deal”. It is incredibly hard to reveal painful parts of yourself completely and feel those feelings that peeling back the layers often bring up. It means you now have to deal with what was disclosed and that is the really hard part.
One of my clients once admitted to me that I knew less than 50% of the “stuff” she wanted to tell me but just couldn’t do it. I responded that I hoped she could find the courage to trust me, fully open up and share the rawest parts of her that keep her in a mental prison. I also hoped that she could understand why sharing this information with me was hard for her.
The reality is people hold back for many reasons, fear of judgement, fear of their therapist thinking differently about them, shame, embarrassment, or denial. Sometimes they think the safeguarded information doesn’t impact the issue they have reached out for help for so they just won't mention it. This is almost never the case, there are always connections that can be made from someone outside that are not visible to the person themselves. I can appreciate it's hard to deal with the issues revealed however it’s worth it for your peace of mind. Full disclosure maximizes your investment in therapy, and when you are able to be fully honest about your past or current issues, it really helps your therapist get a good picture of your situation so we can be most effective. Sessions are always safe and non judgmental.
My challenge to you, even if you are not currently in therapy, is to try not to change the subject when things get painful or uncomfortable and speak your full truth.
I can promise you are not alone and you are worthy of compassion. Acknowledge your hardships in the most honest way possible and feel how much easier they are to cope with.